Suddenly, there is a great rumbling.
Over hill, over dale, through forest, through fog, they come. Some walk. Some fly. Some crawl. Some simply move deep within the bowels of the earth. They are massive in number, terrifying in their fury. They blot out the sun from the grass below. They nearly shake the earth from orbit with their rage.
They are the English majors.
They give a fuck about an Oxford comma.
parfait is the french word for perfect which i think is beautiful because who doesn’t love fruit and yogurt
i just want to know what i’m going to do with my life
so i can plan every second up until the day i die
maximum efficiency and all that
maybe i should be a professional plan-maker
If women want equal rights, then we can’t keep saying “Guys can’t hit girls” because it’s not fair unless you also say “Girls can’t hit guys.” Unless you say this, you are not really looking for equal rights, you’re looking to be superior.
We’re trying to break down…
And nobody is saying that women should be able to hit men and men shouldn’t be able to hit women— the aim here is for nobody to fucking hit anybody. I’m sorry but I am so sick of these ridiculous anti-feminists with their pointless arguments
Ten rape prevention tips:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.